Last night I got my ass kicked by a little girl. Repeatedly. It was gruesomely awesome. She was thirteen and had a shadow move I just couldn’t defend against. She dropped below the surface into a shadow hole and while I was standing there like a confused dog who couldn’t find the ball, she rocketed up from a new shadow right behind me, picked me up and flew into the air with me and then ground-pounded me. I staggered back to my feet, dazed and unable to defend myself against a series of bone-shattering kicks that ended with her and her shadow doppelganger ripping me into two halves.
Mortal Kombat. After fifteen years I’m just as bad as I ever was.